Friday, February 12, 2010

Some Mother's Kids

Years ago, I had a good friend who had a favorite expression that I find myself thinking of more frequently of late. Whenever she would hear someone say something really stupid, or observe someone act thoughtlessly or maliciously, she would just shake her head and quietly say, “Some mother’s kids.” In those three words, she was able to raise a legitimate question about what someone had learned in their childhood upbringing and what they had not (or had long forgotten). Simultaneously, she was assessing that person’s words or actions as being so outrageous that they were coming from someone only a mother could love – and perhaps even a severe test of that.


With some of the things we see and hear that leave us scratching our heads incredulously, her three little words seem more and more apt. As an interesting statistical anomaly, the state of South Carolina seems of late to be breeding a whole batch of “some mother’s kids.” I am not sure what causes such lapses in word and deed, but here are some examples:

1. Governor Mark Sanford, who supposedly took a long weekend hike on the Appalachian Trail, only to discover that the trail went way south all the way to his mistress in Argentina. His classic statement of apology? “I need to try to learn to love my wife again.” Not surprisingly, Mrs. Sanford took that ringing endorsement of affection and moved out of the house. The added gall to all of this was that when Governor Sanford was a U.S. Congressman 10+ years ago, he was one of the floor managers seeking to impeach Bill Clinton because of his “infidelity and lack of respect for marriage.” What goes around …

2. Lt. Governor (and now candidate for governor) Andre Bauer gave us a good lesson in dealing with our poorer citizens, thanks to his grandmother. “She was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals – because they breed.” He went on to say that there was a direct correlation between schools with a high percentage of government funded lunch programs and low test scores. His sterling conclusion? Government feeding of hungry children destroys their sense of responsibility and initiative and fosters dependency, so test scores are low. So we need to stop feeding them so that … what? So an 8-yearold will quit school and get a job so s/he can buy food? Did Mr. Bauer skip over the other possible correlation: that kids getting government funded lunches come from poor homes struggling just to get by and lack the ability to give educational support and advantages to their kids as found in middle-to-upper class homes? (He later apologized for comparing “poor children to stray animals.”)

3. The former GOP chairman of the state elections commission, Rusty DePass, made a comment on Facebook about the escape of a gorilla from Columbia’s Riverbanks Zoo. His insightful observation? “I’m sure it’s just one of Michelle’s (Obama) ancestors – probably harmless.” I am sure that that reassuring observation calmed any fears from the zoo’s neighboring residents. His subsequent apology was, “I am as sorry as I can be if I offended anyone. The comment was clearly in jest.” It would seem that Mr. Rusty needs to seriously rethink what constitutes humor, versus what is just thoughtless hurtful.

4. Of course, we all know about the now infamous “You Lie” comment from Congressman Joe Wilson directed to President Obama while speaking to a joint Congressional session. You take an inappropriate remark, speak it at an inappropriate time, broadcast that disrespect publicly to the world, and then subsequently be proven that your statement was blatantly false. Obama did not lie, but all those people who do not know the difference between reasoned debate and ill-tempered shouting found a new champion. A champion who apparently learned no simple manners in his home.

5. Two Republican county chairmen, Edwin Merwin, Jr. and James Ulmer, Jr., seeking to voice their support for Senator Jim DeMint’s fiscal conservatism, wrote in an article that, “There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy got that way not by watching dollars, but instead by taking care of the pennies and the dollars taking care of themselves.” Their apology came only one day later: “I have always abhorred in the past, and shall continue to do so in the future, anti-Semitism in any form whatsoever.” Truth is, watching the pennies is a good thing for all of us to do. Did not Ben Franklin tell us 200 years ago that a penny saved was a penny earned? Isn’t finding a penny an omen of good fortune to come? Good ethics, lost in a bad context. Try it again, Edwin and James, but this time try using brain before tongue.

6. And do I even need to bring up the current poster boy of deception – South Carolina native John Edwards? How far can the once mighty fall when they sit atop their own illusions of invulnerability? The ripples of hurt from his misstatements and lies now grow larger and wider, enveloping everyone around him. No one is coming out looking admirable, including Elizabeth Edwards, and the sleazy aide with the book deal.

I generally prefer to not get too caught up in public infidelity issues – private lives should be just that: private. And I am not too fond either of the political correctness police who leave you virtually unable to open your mouth about truthful realities without someone getting hysterically bent out of shape. A good sense of humor is still necessary to get through life. Yet thoughtful words and actions still count if one is going to speak in public forums.

We need to know the differences, and where the lines are. Lately it seems like those lines are not visible in the morning fog of South Carolina. It is seemingly a place where inexplicable speech and action seem to be in greater-than-usual quantity. Leaving us all to just shake our heads in bewildered wonderment at Some Mother’s Kids.

1 comment:

Paul Swenson said...

As regards the author's statement regarding Joe Wilson that “You take an inappropriate remark, speak it at an inappropriate time, broadcast that disrespect publicly to the world, and then subsequently be proven that your statement was blatantly false”, it's sad to say that not only is it true if someone says it's true (regardless of fact or verifiable proof), but when said, it can lead to inestimable profit. Take the case of Joe Wilson. According to Politico, “the words "you lie!" earned Joe Wilson $2.7 million in third quarter political donations — with most of the money raised after his Sept. 9 outburst, according to Federal Election Commission reports. Wilson's $2.7 million quarter is .... better than many Senate candidates and even some presidential candidates could hope for.” $2.7M? How stupid are the American public anyway?